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Holistic Psychology, Coaching, Motivation, Inspiration and Freelance Writing.

In an ever changing society, it is important to keep in touch with what is truly important in life. You are not what you own nor your position in society. You are a human being with a soul, like all others, walking along a path on this journey called life. Hopefully, this blog can be of some support. You do not have to struggle alone along this path.



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Ignorance is not bliss!


Ignorance is an ugly thing. It’s like a big black stain on a beautiful white gown. It’s that permanent blackhead on the end of our nose that comes in many shapes and sizes and just keeps growing; the less we open our minds.

When I talk about ignorance, I’m not just talking about rudeness. I’m talking about all the negative qualities that impede us from being positively and potentially the best we can be; especially with regards to others.

In today’s article, I’m talking about arrogance, inflexible mental attitudes, false beliefs and this innate desire we have to make others look wrong. In doing the latter, we are guilty of a sin far worse than trying to belittle someone, which we have a tendency to do to hide our own shortcomings, we are actually planting seeds that potentially make other people feel insecure about who they are, what they do and what they know.

Worst of all, we insist to the point of trying to convert someone to our way of thinking by resorting to quoting unreliable leads, misinterpreted information and speculative and/or somewhat dubious facts. We resort to any tactic possible in the name of attempting to show we have superior knowledge; even when we don’t.

Worst of all, and ironically so, most of the time we are perfectly conscious of what we are doing. And, we all know it’s not what we say but it’s the way we say it. We could make the most outrageously absurd statement in the whole wide world, but if we said it with conviction, proper stance, confidence and good posture; nine times out of ten we’d probably get away with it.

Have you ever closely watched someone who wants to be right? Have you ever noticed how someone behaves when they know their back is up against the wall? Have you ever stopped to analyse your own behaviour when you want to win an argument or when you’re feeling insecure about something and become a little more agressive than usual?

We’ve all done it at some point in our lives. It’s a part of human nature; only some people eventually learn to control it and others never do.

If we are face to face with the offender of our intellect, we adopt a more authoritative position. We plant our feet firmly on the ground, stand tall, stick our chests out, and as if we were some kind of peacock, we start ruffling our feathers in preparation for the “blurt” about to exit our mouths.

Naturally, the other person takes the same stand right back at us and nothing is ever won. In fact, most of the time any discordance led down this path leads to arguments, bickering and in some cases physical violence.

If we are not face to face with the offender of our knowledge, then, in this day of the information super highway, we cltch at straws by sending emails full of links that could potentially back up our claims. Problem is, most of the time when we send an email along those lines, we ourselves might not have even read the articles we’re quoting. We just copy/pasted them in a hurry to reach the “being right” finish line.

So, now, the situation begins to border on the ridiculous; especially if the perpertrator quotes the articles back at us in their favour. And, so this wonderful heated email argument flares up and so much good positive energy, and time, is wasted on finding and sending links backwards and forewards.

Of course, the best part about arguing online with someone is the delete button in the email inbox. Yet, as if drawn by some magnetic force our self centred ego and our desire to reach that “right” finish line won’t allow us to just hit delete without first having a sneak preview of the email’s contents.

Whatever happened to: “We agree to disagree"? Whatever became of: “Maybe I am wrong and I should look into it properly before I reply?” What does it matter who is right or wrong? Is there ever a true right or wrong? Most importantly, whatever happened to a little humility?

All of you out there who have ever eaten humble pie and learnt from it, I take a bow in your presence. I honour you, I really do. It takes a much bigger person to back down of any situation and admit their mistakes, faults or even lack of knowledge than it does for someone to fire back; when confronted. It also takes a much bigger person to remain silent when they know they are right.

It’s easy to blab. We open our mouths and our thoughts come out. All we have to do is open our mouths and words come out. Most of the time, we have a tendency to say the first thing that comes into our mind. What’s not so easy is to “control” the blab we vocally emit and use selective blabbing.

If someone undermines us or tries to belittle us, instinctively, in the heat of the moment, our first reaction is to lash right back; especially when we know we are right. But, what if we were to just remain silent? What if we didn’t add fuel to the already stirring fire? What if we just turned our backs and walked away very politely without further engaging in the dispute?

Similarly, if we’ve allowed ourselves to enter into an argument with someone, what if we just learn to consciously recognise what we’re doing and stop ourselves mid tracks. In Buddhism it is said that we need to be mindful or our thoughts, actions and words. I agree. The world doesn’t collapse just because we’re the ones to back down. Disaster doesn’t strike if we walk away leaving another person thinking they are right; even when perhaps we know they’re not. Yet, disaster will surely strike when two people enter a heated confrontation.

Being a bit more humble, and backing down, doesn’t mean we’re allowing people to walk all over us. It just means we avoid unnecessarily hurting someone else for the sake of our ego. We all learn our lessons in life. Some sooner, some later. It’s not up to us to decide when someone will learn.

The Master appears when the student is ready.

All that remains to be seen is whether the student recognises the lessons in front of him or her.

  18/04/11 07:37:58 pm , by admin   , 3162 views, Welcome,

Don't Shout!


Often in life people shout at others for no apparent reason what so ever other than their own insecurities and frustrations. These could be anything from feelings of low self-esteem: ?I?m not good enough?, ?I?ll never make it? and so on; to a lack of a sense of personal and professional achievement and job satisfaction.

It can be particularly frustrating when both our professional and personal life are out of balance or when we feel others collide too much with our world.

I think we all take our frustrations out on someone near and dear to us at some point in life. We basically use someone else as an emotional punching bag. The sad thing is that most of the time, we don?t even know we?re doing it.

It?s only when we?re on the receiving end or when we take a step back and reflect on our behaviour, that we realise how it feels. By then the damage is done though.

Instead of getting to the point where we lash out at an innocent bystander in our life, we should analyse ourselves, what we think our shortcomings are and our behavioral responses.

First of all, we should learn to worry less about what people think about us. We don?t need to validate who we are in comparison to others. Everyone on this planet is an individual human being with a personality and character of their own. It’s not always necessary to fit in. After all, if we were all the same there would be no diversity and, quite frankly, I think the world would be a boring place.

There are people in this world who are different, they don?t conform to social norm expectations and I believe they should remain different. Their differences are what separate them from generality and the masses. Also, there is no right or wrong way to be. The point of life is to be happy and that includes being comfortable with all our differences in comparison to others.

I?m also a great believer that people should worry less about what they call their
shortcomings and what they think they have, or do not have, to offer. As long as someone is alive, they certainly have something to offer. Perhaps, a shift in perspective is needed in order to appreciate one?s own qualities rather than one?s material possessions. This is where self-esteem and self-respect come into play.

Another fundamental issue to remember is that everything happens for a reason. So, whatever is happening in one?s life right now is there for a purpose. We just need to learn to see the purpose. We need to be able to appreciate the learning opportunity every challenge provides us with. We need to learn that lesson as quickly as possible and move on.

Most importantly, we need to learn to let go more. We need to let it all go; all the baggage and resentment from the past serves no purpose in our memories; except occupying good space that could be filled with positive change and an optimistic outlook towards the future. We need to keep moving forward with your eyes a little more open; our minds a little wiser and hearts filled with peace.
Nothing that we consider bad happens for a bad reason, but we need to see the positive side instead of persistently focusing on the negative aspects.

We need to forgive ourselves and others for whatever has gone before, and let go of the past. Built up guilt, anger, resentment and dare I say jealousy are all negative
qualities that hold us back in life. Generally, they spring from things we’ve done that we’re not proud of or that we?re ashamed of. Instead of accepting them as an integrated part of who we are and regarding them as another opportunity to know and love ourselves; flaws included, we turn against ourselves.

We start a cycle of self-loathing and self-depreciation, which in turn, over a long period of time, turns into lack of self-esteem and lack of self-respect. We become our own worst enemy. We no longer have a good relationship with ourselves nor with others. Hence, from there on in, we begin to think that life is taking a downhill slide and that everything is going wrong. It?s not life though. It?s our attitude towards it.

Life and it?s journey are not consistent by nature. They are subject to change and many unstable factors. It may seem that it doesn?t always go the way we want it to, but the one thing we can do, is make it the way we want it to be. It takes determination, a series of choices, motivation, time, effort and the input and interconnection with others and the world around us.

So, before you shout at someone you hold dear. Stop yourself and analyse why you?re doing it. Is it really their fault or are you trying to compensate for something missing within yourself?

May you always have peace and love in your life. God Bless you all.


  19/12/10 06:44:24 pm , by admin   , 4689 views, Welcome,

Cyclothymia. What it is and how to deal with it.


When a friend contacted me; asking me to investigate Cyclothymia, I had no idea what to expect. I?d vaguely heard of the condition and knew it related to a mood disorder; comprising highs and lows, but I never appreciated the severity of its symptoms, nor that it could lead to suicide. Least of all did I appreciate that it can be a hereditary condition.

We live and learn. So, I?m here today with a new report about the condition called Cyclothymia for those who, like me, vaguely know about it, yet don?t know enough about it.

Cyclothymia apparently affects 0,4 to 1% of the population. It can affect men and women in equal proportions, and it generally starts in the teen years or the early twenties. There is evidence to suggest that genetics play a role in Cyclothymia. In fact, people with a family history of the bipolar condition, suicide, depression, alcohol or drug dependency are prime Cyclothymia candidates.

Just as with the bipolar condition, Cyclothymia sufferers have mood swings that go from hypomania to manic depression. These extremes in mood changes disrupt a person?s life, relationships, eating habits, sleeping patterns and put their safety at risk.

While a cyclothymic person is in a hypo-maniac mood they may be very cheerful and loving towards their partner, spouse, family etc. However, they can be very thoughtless because their actions become aggressive and rapid. They seem to move at a faster pace than the rest of the world. Hence, they get impatient and inconsiderate. They will barely sleep. They lose the ability to concentrate for too long and they become easily distracted.

At the opposite spectrum, while they?re in a manic depressive mood, they will reject all emotions and push away all loved ones. Most of the time they will even have a job to pull themselves out of bed in the morning. They will constantly feel sad, hopeless, helpless, apathetic and be irritable. They may even withdraw socially and have suicidal tendencies.

The problem for most sufferers is that even they don?t quite know what mood to expect on which day. I should say here that this condition isn?t diagnosed lightly.

To determine whether a person is cyclothymic or not, they have to have suffered definite mood swings, adhering to a specific set of guidelines, for two years with a symptom free period no greater than two months in between.

If a person didn?t meet the criteria outlined for determining Cyclothymia sufferers, they would just be considered bipolar in nature, and of course that?s a whole new discussion because there is bipolar I and bipolar II; depending on symptoms.

Apparently but probably not surprisingly, there is little research about treatments available for cyclothymic sufferers. I found general recommendations for mood stabilizers, (lithium based,) which I wouldn?t give my worst enemy; since lithium is toxic to the human body; antidepressants used for treating the bipolar I condition.

Personally, I would recommend psychotherapy, psychology, behavioural modification therapy, lifestyle and diet modification therapy. I would recommend giving up immediately any kind of alcohol or drug intake as these already cause alterations in moods and personality changes. Of course, these courses of action require more effort on the sufferer’s part, but in the long run they educate the person, with the condition, to better manage it and catch each mood on the on-start. Antidepressants only suppress the symptoms. They don?t get to the root causes and anything that contains lithium or any abstract thereof is a poison in the human body, which causes more harm than the condition itself; if managed properly.

The other plus side to psychotherapy and suchlike is that it offers family and loved ones counselling sessions. Therefore, it provides a support system for and around the sufferer.

As a qualified Holistic Health Therapist, I would also suggest burning a few drops of lavender oil mixed with water in a burner, around the home; during times of hypomania - to soothe the sufferer?s senses. Lavender is very balancing and calming.

Similarly, during a time of manic depression, a few drops of essential lemon or tangerine or a similar citrus oil burnt in the same way, scenting the home, would be uplifting to the senses.

I would also be inclined to recommend a lighter dietary consumption during times of depression so that food metabolism requires less energy and all surplus energy can be redirected to the rest of the body.

Similarly, during times of hypomania, it is recommendable to eat slightly more to slow the rest of the body?s processes down by redirecting most of the energy to the digestive processes.

I hope this helps.

Further Reading:

  08/09/10 05:42:44 pm , by admin   , 8228 views, Welcome,

A false claim to cure cancer!


Just recently I was asked, by a very dear friend, to research the relationship between certain health products on the market and their benefits in healing or helping with the healing process of cancer.

The company in question, which shall remain nameless, is falsely making miraculous claims that it can heal cancer through the use of natural products. That doesn?t worry so much as the fact that it?s giving people false hope and emptying their wallet at the same time. Worse still, it could discourage people from following appropriate conventional treatments.

I?m a believer in integrated methods of medical intervention; a little of both - Conventional and Natural Methods of Healing.

Anyway, I looked up the products in question and decided to research the ingredients. There is nothing out of the ordinary and nothing that can?t be had from a more balanced every day diet. If our daily intake consisted of more pulses, grains, fibres, water, fresh fruit and vegetables, we wouldn?t need to resort to supplements such as these.

Here?s why. Here are just a few of the ingredients:

IP-6 (Inositol hexaphosphate) - Just as easily found in high fiber foods such as beans, pulses, grains etc.

-Sitosterol - Just as easily found in advocados, cumin, black pepper seeds, soya etc.

The one thing you should know about the above is that they are not easily synthesized. It?s also dubious how much is assimilated in the human body due to our digestive system process.

phytosterols Cordyceps sinensis mycelia extract Baker?s yeast (Saccharomyces cerevisiae) extract Agaricus blazeii fruiting body extract Aloe (Aloe barbadensis) leaf gel extract Oat (Avena sativa) seed extract Olive (Olea europaea) - Courtesy of the ?Product specific website? - who shall remain unnamed.

Everything seems to be natural.

One word of warning against yeast intake though. It is a well known fact that reducing the amount of yeast in one?s diet can: a) increase life expectancy by up to 50% and b) reduce infections in the body like candida.

Another ingredient that is contained in another product is Colostrum. Colostrum is a cow milk produced in very late pregnancy or even one day after giving birth.

When it?s fed to new born calves, it is known to have a mild laxative effect. It contains many beneficial antibodies that help to eliminate dead red blood cells and it contains a large amount of proteins that are all beneficial to the development of organs and body tissue.

Yet, its beneficial properties and its effects in human consumption are little known and very dubious because of the human digestive process; not to mention the fact that many people nowadays are lactose intolerant.

Colostrum had once been used as an alternative to the modern day antibiotic. In fact, it was one of the original ingredients in an early polio vaccine. Nowadays, there is talk of it being used once again as

Since Colostrum contains IGF-1, the lack of which is associated with malnutrition, dementia, obesity and lean body mass, it is reputed that a supplementation can help with these conditions. However, it seems to be that there is little scientific research and few clinical trials to back these claims.

However, one interesting fact is that within colostrum, scientists discovered Proline-rich Polypeptides (PRP) - These are molecules that transmit signals to the immune system. It was originally believed that these peptides had the capacity to transfer immunity from one immune system to another. However, this is not the case. What is more likely to happen is that the molecules send signals to the immune system to boost it in times of attack from foreign bodies, which means we can better deal with disease.

I did find some research regarding the use of PRP supplements and HIV, herpes, Hodgkins, prostrate cancer and Alzheimer?s. Now, while the research findings seem to stabilise 40% of the patients? symptoms and condition in the short term, i.e. over a 15 week trial; there are no long term studies. So, we are far from knowing what the long terms effects.

So, please be warned this is not a long term solution for any of the above conditions nor can it claim to be a cure for cancer as this company is falsely promising.

Another warning for any of this company?s products containing Chicken egg yolks - Anyone who is dairy intolerant should avoid taking this ingredient.

In conclusion, this company cannot lay claim to finding a cure for cancer. They cannot lay claim to having a product for transferring one immune system to another. All they have is another marketable natural supplement.

Will it may you feel good? Well, if you?re not dairy intolerant, yes it might. Will it work? That depends on your own immune system and how your body responds to the products.

Please, however, before you part with your hard earned cash, do not think you are buying into a miracle cure.

  08/09/10 02:09:52 pm , by admin   , 2101 views, Welcome,

Cancer and Massage or Aroma-Massage


Just recently there has been some controversy surrounding cancer and the pros and cons of massage and aromatherapy for oncology patients. Since this is an area I will, hopefully, be shortly moving into as a volunteer, I have been doing some research with the intent of designing new oncological therapy techniques; based on an original concept by a Holistic therapist in Australia. My new primary aroma-massage; designed especially for cancer patients is called ?Compassionate Healing.? It?s not about healing the disease itself but about bringing peace in mind, body and soul to those who are going through this terrible suffering.

We all know someone who has had cancer and if we don?t, chances are we will before our own time is up. Yet, what do we really know about this disease apart from the fact that it?s a silent killer for which there is still no known cure; although nowadays there are a lot of treatments that are proving to be effective in many cases.

Please let me add here that although alternative therapies such as Aromatherapy Massage, Reiki, Ayurveda, Reflexology, Indian Head Massage etc. may bring relief to patients who have cancer, they are by no means a cure. They are complimentary. They can and should only be used, in my opinion, as an integrative part of conventional medicine.

I could go on and on about the benefits of Holistic Therapies but I?m sure you?ve all heard them a million times before. What I will say is that ?touch? is extremely important for any human being, but it?s probably more important to cancer patients, or any patient for that matter, who gets poked and prodded around all day by needles and is subjected to chemotherapy or radiotherapy.

An oncology patient?s body is subjected to such harsh procedures and conditions that it becomes almost abused by medical standards. Of course, it?s a necessary part of the medical healing process, yet it?s surprising how many times even relatives find it difficult to touch a body that changes beyond their own recognition of it; unless it?s to feed it, wash it or give it a kiss on the forehead. Sometimes, even the cancer patients themselves feel detached from their own ever-changing body.

A simple yet loving touch from another human being is sufficient to reconnect an oncology patient to his or her own body. A gentle caress, a soft massage, a kind stroke of the hand is enough to bring peace of mind, relaxation, appease fear and depression, create an atmosphere of positivity, create distraction, alleviate tiredness and, of course make them feel safe, secure and loved.

If a Holistic treatment is administered under the proper conditions, with maximum care and abiding by certain cautious guidelines, it can also help to alleviate the feelings of weakness, dizziness and/or sickness after medical treatments like chemotherapy.

Up until recently, in the United Kingdom, Australia and the United States, Oncology wards in mainstream hospitals used Holistic Health Therapies and Aromatherapy Massage as a means of bringing relief to cancer patients. Not to mention that Eastern cultures have been using Holistic concepts of Healing since time began.

Yet, the big question that has sparked controversy and that everyone is trying to answer is:

?Can massage and aroma-massage spread cancer??

Well, my research leads me to the conclusion that scientifically, there is no evidence to prove that it can; not any more so than exercising anyway. By the same token, there is also no real evidence to prove that it can?t if it misused.
However, if massage or aroma-massage is conducted under appropriate circumstances, abiding by certain conditions and using specific techniques, then it is perfectly safe, but the therapist would have to have medical knowledge, specific oncological knowledge and a great deal of compassion and intuitive knowing.

Why? - Simple -

As we all know our bodies are made up of millions of different cells. Over time, these cells become damaged or old, due to the physical conditions they are subjected to, and they die. They are replaced with new cells. Only, sometimes, the new cells can be damaged to due their DNA content. This means they can mutate and develop abnormally. When this happens, we call the cells cancer cells. This abnormal development of cells may form a mass; a whole bunch of cells clustered together in what is known as a tumour.

When we think or hear the word tumour we automatically panic. However, not all tumours are necessarily harmful, nor are they necessarily cancerous in nature. Hence, we use the terms benign and malignant to determine the two different types of tumours.

If a tumour is benign it basically means the cells do not spread to another part of the body. According to medical research in current standing, benign tumours can be removed safely and upon removal, probably won?t come back. Personally, I think there is a lack of sufficient scientific evidence, in this area, for the latter part of this statement to be true. Reason being, I had a gentleman client who was prone to benign tumours. It seems that the more consultants surgically removed the benign tumours from his body, the more they appeared.

Without his complete medical history, I could not determine the exact locations nor prove or disprove any personal theories. However, this one individual case was enough to raise concern and doubt in my mind, and considering that there are always exceptions to all general theories in science, I think it is a noteworthy fact not to be dismissed.

On the contrary to its counterpart, when a tumour is malignant, something called metastasis occurs. This basically means the cells that have clustered together: start to break off. When these cells break away from the cluster, they travel through the blood system and/or the lymph system into other areas of the body; attacking it or invading it.

The one thing we need to understand about cancer is that there are over 100 different types. They do not all behave the same way. They do not all form tumours. They do not all start in the same areas or necessarily for the same reasons. Moreover, no two individuals will respond to cancer and subsequent cancer treatments in the same way either. Cancer may start in a singular cell in a major organ just as easily as it may start on the skin or in the in the bone marrow or the blood itself.

Some cancer patients may have lumps, others may have red swollen areas. Some may have very subtle signs of the disease. Some cancer patients may have cancer in one area of the body and suffer pain in a completely opposite area. This is where training in Kinesiology comes in very useful.

Anyone who wants to massage or touch a cancer patient should be very aware of any areas that are ?off limits.? Any areas that are being treated, any areas that are bruised, swollen, red, or have broken skin are all off limits!

Also, common sense might dictate that directly and harshly massaging a tumour could potentially cause the cells to break away from the cluster and travel into the body. So, in this respect, one has to question whether there is potential danger of causing metastasis through massage. I can see, from this point of view, where the controversy might arise, but, directly massaging a tumour if off limits, so there is no reason for concern. You never massage a tumour!!!

The most important things are that there should be a) thorough communication between the therapist and the cancer patient in a prior interview; b) the therapist should be flexible and have the ability to design new techniques and methods of treatment around the patient?s needs and c) any touch should be loving and compassionate not of technique learnt in a school nor of the ego. The cancer patient and their body should be listened to and paid attention to at all times.

  08/09/10 01:12:19 pm , by admin   , 2285 views, Welcome,

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